Note to Tennis-ites

See Max, Ben, and Jamie, to the left, circa 2010, and Jamey and Max, to the right, circa 2009. Here are more training images (2009) and here (2010).

At the end of this message, you will be asked for a commitment.

Contemplating Another Tennis Adventure ...

ONCE AGaIN, I find myself dreaming of sumptuous breakfasts consisting of hot coffee followed by freshly squeezed orange juice, scrambled eggs, and croissants perhaps at the “Coffee Bar located in the lower lobby which features a variety of coffees and teas plus delectable pastries and fruits” or perhaps “the Tropics Terrace, an al fresco dining option, also serves up breakfast and lunch that will dazzle your palate”; lush courtside lunches of crusty bread spread with a French cheese and tomatoes and some sort of specialty chips with a flavorful dip purchased from a gourmet grocer, preferably one with a French accent; grapes, nuts, and cheese for poolside snacks along with our frothy non-alcoholic drinks; dinner My God the dinners … lush dinners that replenish our bodies from the day’s work on the tennis courts. Our arms will be tired, so the food must almost carry itself to our lips … I envision one evening of pizza poolside, one night in “a casual evening atmosphere” at Dempsey’s Steak House, which “serves up prime beef and table-side Caesar salad” and maybe even a sup at “T.D.’s Sports Bar, where sports enthusiasts enjoy hearty snacks in a relaxed, informal setting” but whatever the case … one night … we will have a Feast of Phenomenal  Proportions (not “portions” but “proportions” – it’s quality, not quantity) where we will bathe in soups, dance in appetizers, spin in steak, and sleep in desserts.

Interested in participating in an excursion of this nature in July 2011? Email me. Warriors only, please. It is not necessary that you and I are fond of each other; this invitation is being published in an effort to secure a shekal-saving group rate. However, I maintain the right to reject applicants based on race, creed, aesthetic value, gender, religion, or sexual orientation.

In addition to culinary delights, this trip involves playing tennis up to seven hours a day, enduring extreme solar thermionic emissions and rendering all participants subject to desudation (morbid sweating), leading to dehydration and possibly hematidrosis (a rare but plausible and sometimes fatal condition wherein one sweats blood).

For more information about the hostess, sort of, click here. For the Screaming Divas' site, click here.