Fred & Aroh's Wedding


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Fred and Aroh were married in the first of three ceremonies on January 30, 2010, at their home in Ormond Beach. Here's a video of the ceremony that was performed before about 80 guests and broadcast to their families in France, Scotland, and India (if the video doesn't play, go to direct link by clicking here):

Jen Allen was Fred's maid-of-honor, Patrick from Boston was Aroh's best man, and I performed the ceremony.

The Ceremony

We are here to witness and celebrate the marriage of Frederique and Aroh.

Like many of us, I was surprised at the wedding announcement that seemed to come out of the blue, but since then it has seemed like it was always meant to be. Some of us have occasionally amused ourselves watching their relationship grow into the roles they now seek as husband and wife.

It may be no coincidence that Fred is drawn toward tornados in her work and Aroh as her lover. A tornado is powerful, ever-moving, and makes its presence known. Its movements are hard to predict. To understand the behavior of the tornado, she measures the vortex of wind-she seeks answers and finds equanimity inside the center of the storm, just as she finds serenity at the heart of Aroh’s world.

In his work, Aroh calibrates and measures spacecraft instrumentation with the desire to eliminate turbulence and explore the unknown. He works to achieve precision, predictability, and keener insight into our universe. With his bride, he has found a source of great power and beauty, and as well, he finds the stability and greater understanding of love and humanity that he seeks at the heart of Frederique’s world.

Frederique and Aroh have found comfort and strength in each other’s lives as lovers and friends, and the value of their union far exceeds the sum of its parts. But neither true love nor true science are paradigms of rules. Both love and science can only flourish when they are allowed to continually breathe and evolve through imagination, insight, and intuition--all qualities which both Fred and Aroh possess in abundance.

Marriage represents their desire to share the future together, but perhaps more importantly, it represents their passion and love for each other now.

Love is being in a state of continual forgiveness--to forgive your spouse’s faults and flaws and everyday failings--and also compromise. Aroh may have to compromise his desire to have 12 children for Fred; Fred may have to compromise her desire for quietness to accommodate Aroh’s booming voice.

Marriage is inherently a promise to stay in love … which is no small task.

It is very smart for the couple not to take everyone’s advice, but it is very good to listen to it. Some friends have volunteered to offer their best advice on love and marriage, so that Aroh & Fred can stay as blissful as possible, and I’m going to share some of that with you now:

Mike Hickey - "Share completely everything you have to give with each other, including time and honesty, and pretty soon you will never ever want to be apart."

Bereket Berhane - “Three anniversary dates!! Advice to Aroh is: Choose one date and put it in the prenup.”

Caroline Liron - “Life is short. Laugh everyday.”

Deborah Edwards - “Love the other person for who s/he is and not try to change them.”

Francois Mandonnaud - “No matter what happens, in Finance like in Love, the big things and choices must be both agreed on.”

Heather Bonilla - “For Fred: Your husband will give you a stress headaches so you need to find a way to relieve them that doesn't require blunt trauma to him--try 2 glasses of your favorite beverage and a long hot bubble bath.”

Ibrahima Kaba - “Every night before falling asleep say “I’m sorry and I love you. Money may be the root of all evil but Friends and Family are the square roots of bad marriages: Keep them out of your business. Flirt and seduce each other every day of your lives.”

Joe Mosca - “Always laugh when he(she) is laughing.”

John Hughes - “1) No one is perfect and your spouse’s pesky flaws will come to mind. Develop the habit of actively refusing to entertain them. 2) Love is a verb – not a noun. Practice it. 3) Aroh, constantly sacrifice yourself for the one you love. Fred, repay him in kisses. Do not allow time to callous over your splinters. Deal with them so each of you remain soft to the other’s touch.”

Katariina Nykyri - “Do not complain about the other’s electronic gadget or shoe shopping addiction. Don't go to sleep angry -have makeup sex instead, if that does not help have a WOOT-animal fight. For the husband: Give her regular foot and neck massages and take care of your wife's computer updates and backups. For the wife: Let him play loud videogames and let him eat M&M from jumbo sized packs; let your husband watch Sponge Bob Squarepants at least once a month.”

Marlene and Damian Braganza - "Ephesians states: Husbands love your wives. Wives submit to your husbands. There is a deep secret truth revealed in this scripture, which I understand as applying to Christ and the Church.  But it also applies to you: every husband must love his wife as himself and every wife must respect her husband.” Ask Marlene for the interpretation …

Michelle Cecchini - “Listen to what one another is saying.”

Robert Fleck - “My advice for Aroh: ‘Do whatever she says!’"

Tim Smith - “Listen to each other, share/support in each other’s dream & most importantly enjoy.”

My advice is: “Kiss hard, eat well, forgive quickly. And don’t have too many children.”

Aroh and Frederique will now exchange vows, and as a symbol of their commitment to each other for eternity and forever, they will each tie a ribbon of love around each other’s wrist.

Aroh's Vows

With all my idiosyncratic behavior, unearthly loud voice that gives you migraines, crass humor, and ever so slightly arrogant attitude, I love you with every strand of my heart. I promise to spend the rest of my life with you, I will go wherever you go ... except of course when you have a girlfriends night ... Whatever you face, I will face, for good or ill, in happiness or sadness, come riches or poverty, I take you as my wife...

Fred's Vows

As freely as I have been given this life, I join my life with yours. Wherever you go, I will go; whatever you face, I will face. For good or ill, in happiness or sadness, come riches or poverty, I take you as my husband.

By the power vested in Donna Fremont by the State of Florida, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss each other.

I present to you Aroh and Frederique, the newly married couple.

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