My
children, Max-9 and Sydney-7, wanted to know why they had to remove shoes,
jackets, and backpacks to get through Security at Daytona Beach International
Airport. As they were re-dressing, I explained that they could have bombs in
their shoes or knives in their clothing. Perhaps this wasn’t a child-friendly
answer, but it was 5 a.m., and I was having trouble shaking the image of a
future where airports required transparent clothing. Inspecting children’s shoes
seemed reasonable until I realized that my purse contained a souvenir
pocketknife that made it onto the plane with no problem.While First Class passengers boarded, Sydney asked what they were learning in their class. Max asked how First Class differed from Coach, and I explained that they were paying a great deal for free drinks, and that class-based systems were despicable, serving only to reinforce the status of the rich, which meant we were fortunate that our cheap tickets made us ineligible for an upgrade.
We were traveling to visit my parents in Sacramento, and drive to Tahoe, where Max and Sydney could try skiing. Once in Tahoe, we stayed at Embassy Suites. The hotel is near casinos and Heavenly Valley, a large ski resort. For $143 per night, we had two-room suite, hot breakfast each morning, and cocktails or other beverages and snacks each evening.
We did not realize upon our arrival that Tahoe was about to experience the biggest snowstorm in 89 years. It soon became apparent that the children would be unable to ski. This proved cost-efficient, as they had just as much fun barreling down a hill on inner tubes – for $6 a child, as opposed to $135 per child it would have cost for a day of ski school at Heavenly. Inner-tubing also required that they walk uphill as many times as they slid downhill. At around 6,500 feet altitude, it was tiring work.
After a rest, we walked into Harvey’s Lake Tahoe Casino & Resort, where I demonstrated gambling by dropping total of $1.50 into the slot machines. Max was horrified, stating that gambling was stupid and useless. He pointed out that we could have almost purchased a pack of trading cards with the lost money, and implied that I was wasting the family fortune. Sydney, however, was intrigued that when I put one nickel in the machine at one point, two nickels came out. She deemed me a winner and had to be told to back away from the machines by casino security – three times. We did not realize children walk through the casino, but not stop.
Our second night in Tahoe, my dad and brother decided that we should eat at Pacifica Seafood Buffet in Harvey’s. Since I am not of the age or disposition where I fully appreciate the value of a buffet, I made vain attempts to divert us to dining that wouldn’t require so much legwork and exposure to staphylococci. However, this particular buffet offered 300 food items and seemed the length of a football field. Its allure was too great. We stood in the 20,000-square foot dining space and marveled at the range of cuisine – everything from lobster bisque to sushi to hush puppies.
After that meal, I met friends in the Sage Room Steakhouse, where I ate more. One of my dining companions, Mark Vassau, is chef at Nepheles in Tahoe. Chefs like chefs, and our table received a Bananas Foster – the best ever – and Coffee Diablo, gratis. The latter required the waiter to light a flaming, spiral orange peel that I shall never forget.
Post-dinner, we sipped cocktails in the casino lounge, where we listened to a musician and watched a petite, drunken woman amorously attack one of the men in our group while he danced. He survived stunned, but unscathed. Mark shared with me a recipe called Fire and Ice, which I plan to try as soon as possible: Combine about ½ cup of brandy with a bunch of chopped mint and ¾ cup of brown sugar. Marinate some wild salmon steaks in the mixture, after reserving ¼ cup. Mix the reserve with 1½ cups of crème fraiche. Grill the salmon, once brushing it with the marinade. Plate the fish and ladle some of the crème fraiche mixture over each serving.
It snowed very hard the next morning, causing me some introspection. I re-evaluated my position on gender equality when my father, brother, and son dug our cars out of the snow and my mother, daughter, and I waited in the hotel. It all seemed proper somehow. But, alas, the digging proved futile, as all roads home were closed, and we had to stay one more night in the snowy paradise.
Three Important Tips for Flying (Domestic) with School-Age Children
1. Don’t pack anything for the plane ride – Not notepads, books, puzzles, crayons, or surprises. You’ll spend a lot of time preparing, only to be digging through your bag all day. It won’t matter, because children always find flying boring after take-off. A DVD player is the only exception. Have your children pack their own backpack and carry it all day.
2. Don’t pack food or water – Unless your child is diabetic, hypoglycemic, or has food allergies, don’t pack food. It’s a hassle. Pay for snacks in the airports and on the plane. Don’t, under any circumstances, carry bottles of water. They’re heavy. You can get bottled water on the plane and no one will dehydrate during the flight.
3. Do purchase everyone headsets for the in-flight movie, if available – The movie, no matter what’s playing, is always worth the price.